Requesting a Bit of Feedback…

A little something that I have been working on but not sure if I want to run with it or if it makes any sense. Any suggestions or thoughts welcomed

Rumspringa *unedited*

Chapter 1

Sy awoke suddenly on her sixteenth birthday and instantly felt a change. It was finally happening. It was finally here. Rumspringa… The much anticipated ‘rite of passage’ ceremony. Her and everyone born today would either come into power or be exiled to fend for themselves with no guidance. The boys would go through one away from the girls. They will be tested in four categories of magic. Earth, water, air, and fire. Successful completion of these trails not only decide your place in the community but your husband. The guy you spend your life with who’s magic is in sync with yours and makes you an unstoppable force.

She had been awaiting this day ever since her older sister went through her Rumspringa last year. Sinsa was so happy and powerful. There mother liked to say she was the most powerful Venefica she’s ever known. The Venefica – Sorceress are some of the most powerful witches in existence. Nothing like a Mystic – vampyra shape-shifting witch, those things are vicious, but the Venefica are actual witches. They could control any element but specialize in one more than the others. Sy’s sister’s deadliest power was with air. She could make anything happen with the element, from gentle spring breezes to the most devastating tornadoes. It was both awesome and terrifying.

She wanted to be in the same league as her sister. Matter of fact she wanted to surpass it. She sprang from bed and ran outside to fill up enough pails to bring in water for a cleansing bath to clear her mind and help her focus for her upcoming trails. She didn’t want to chance anything today. Nothing could be undone and there were no do overs. You got one chance for each trail. So you had better rock it the first time or be prepared for life outside the community. The Amish like upbringing of each family did nothing to prepare anyone for life after Rumspringa failure.

The city was all hustle and bustle, while their little village life was calm and quiet. They went without modern convinces and grew there own food. If we can’t grow it or make it then we don’t need it, was the village motto. It served them well for centuries. Sy was determined not to ever be casted out her home. She had heard the horror stories whispered in the night. More than half of the Venefica who were forced out didn’t last the month before they were killed or killed themselves. Evil things stalked the nights. Monsters that even the biggest badasses were afraid of.

After several trips, Sy finally sat in her bath to enjoy the hot water on her skin. Mixed with a few oils and herbs, she immediately felt more at ease. More in control. She had pretty tight control over ever element right now but the trails were meant to push you to the limit – try to see if you could break. This was the time that one element broke ranks over the other three. Occupying the head of the pack status. Venefica would always be able to call any element to do their bidding but the Adducere – lead – would be their greatest weapon. If all else failed to keep a person safe the Adducere would finish the job. Leaving no room for doubt that the job was done.

Sy wanted her Adducere to be fire. She had always held a special bond with the element from the time of her birth. She came out her mother’s womb bathed in it. A large circle was burned into the ground around her mother as she was brought into this world. Everyone just knew it would be Sy’s Adducere. She loved playing with the element. Forever testing and bending it to her will. For her Adducere to be anything else would devastate her. No other element called to her like that of fire. Kind in it’s ability to warm the coldest heart and deadly when aggravated and fueled with malice.

It would also stand to make sense for her husband’s Adducere to be air. Helping to fuel her flames and spread them quicker to their target. As she lay in the cleansing bath she dreamed of what her life would be after the trails. How much better and carefree. No longer expecting the worse. Once the Rumspringa was passed successfully no one could cast you out. You were safe from the unknown. You were considered an adult and no longer treated as a child.

As the water begun to grow colder Sy figured it was time to put on her ceremonial white habitus – dress – and made her way downstairs. Her mother and older sister were already waiting for her in the kitchen in their black habitus that signaled they had already completed their Rumspringa. She would be in hers in a matter of four days. Their was only one element tested a day to give the wielder time to recharge before the next. The tests took some much from the participant that the Elders didn’t want anyone claiming fatigue hindered their Rumspringa. Rest ensured authenticity of the trail.

“Finally! I was beginning to think I would have to come and drag you from bed,” Sinsa said. “On the day of my Rumspringa I was up already hours before you are now.”

“I have been awake. I took a cleansing bath to soothe my nerves,” Sy replied.

“All right you two. Enough. Sy has a big day today Sinsa, don’t distract her. The next four days will determine her entire future,” their mother said.

“Yes mother,” they replied.

“Come eat this porridge. You will need your strength. Forgoing food will hinder you,” her mother said.

Sy went to the table and ate the food her mother had prepared for her. She could feel her sister step behind her to secure her hair in a bun after combing through it. She said a silent prayer asking for a steady hand and patience. She would need them both. She concentrated on breathing in and out as to not hyperventilate from the stress that was now starting to creep in the closer the time came for the Rumspringa to start. Their were two other girls and three boys undergoing the same torrid of emotions as her at this exact moment.

She couldn’t help but be weary. No one had been cased out in the last fifteen Rumspringas and she hoped that trend continued. She did not want her Rumspringa being the first. Surely it could only mean something bad if any of her birthday mates were cast into the cold and unforgiving world alone at sixteen with no one to turn to. Even their families would turn their backs to them, offering no aid. You had only the clothes on your back and five hundred dollars from the community. You either made it into more or you ran out and did whatever else you could for more.

“Come Sy, we must leave now to get to the Circle a bit early. We don’t want to chance lateness,” her mother said.

“I’m ready mother,” Sy said.

“Of course you are. You will do fine,” Sinsa reassured her.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *